Before I arrived in Mysore I debated how I should create my life here and what I should do with my time. I thought seriously about keeping to myself and really making time for self-reflection. I did, after all, quit my job six months ago and I still have not figured out what to do next. While I am much more relaxed about this indecision than I was in the days and weeks following my new-found free time, I am still worried about figuring this out. I thought that four weeks of inversions and introversion might force some of these issues.
The first day I arrived, this plan might have unfolded. It was a little bit intimidating being the new person, and while I would introduce myself to people at breakfast and dinner I was not getting the warm fuzzies from a lot of people. People were certainly polite enough and answered my questions, but they seemed busy with their lives and friends.
On my second night in town I went to dinner at Anu’s armed with my laptop. I could write my blog and keep myself occupied during dinner if there was nobody there interested in talking to the new girl. Sure enough when I got there, one of the three tables was filled with a lively bunch that looked up and went back to their conversation without saying a word to me. There was one empty table and the last table had a guy with a laptop sitting at it. His head was shaved (the preferred hairstyle of ashtangi men) and he had a cream colored shawl draped around his shoulders and upper body. His hands poked out from under it to type on his laptop and his gaze never left the screen. If the shawl had been orange he would have been a picture-perfect sadhu.
I sat at his table and his eyes lifted briefly and he went back to typing (or maybe he was playing Second Life and making virtual friends…who knows). After I got my food and started doing my own typing, I noticed that one of the girls on the edge of the lively table was not participating in their discussions. She was sitting quietly even though she had obviously finished her meal a while back. After a few minutes of observation I decided she must be new in town and in the same boat I was. In introduced myself and I asked her how long she had been in Mysore. Turns out she had just arrived and I was an old-timer compared to her. We chatted for a while and then she got up to leave. As she left she thanked me for introducing myself and talking to her. I suggested that we do something together the next day.
The girl from Anu’s is now my good friend Jennifer, with whom I have been exploring Mysore and learning the ropes about life in and around at the Shala. She is incredibly beautiful inside and out and we had an instant bond. Even though we have only known each other for a little over a week, I feel I have known her forever. What did that Sutra say about instincts and impressions? Perhaps she was my close friend in a past life.
Since meeting Jennifer I have met a good group of folks from all over the place: June from DC, Leena from Chennai, Caitlin from British Columbia, Lars from Spokane, Mauricio from Mexico City, Olivier from Biarritz, Jeanne from Hong Kong and Theodora from Buenos Aires. Jennifer lives in New York in the East Village.
When not practicing I spend most of my time with one or more of these folks eating, talking, reading, and exploring. My favorite times are when we are just hanging around in my living room talking and reading and surfing the web or checking email. My house has become the daytime landing spot for a lot of folks because we have a great big comfortable living/dining room and wireless access.
As I lay in bed one morning last week while everybody was at practice and I was nursing my back, I reflected on the fact that this is really what is most important to me - my close friends and my family. The happiest memories I have are always those in which I am surrounded by my family and a community of smart, curious, loving people. The times I am most unhappy are when I am too busy to make the time to stop and enjoy the company of these people. It seems that so many of us in the western world are so busy reaching for something else, that we neglect the things that matter the most. I realize this is not a big realization intellectually speaking. I have read plenty of books that point this out, but as I have gotten older I have gotten further and further away from living this truth. At least as long as I am still “attached” and working on realizing the “Self”, I would like to cultivate a life that is more attached to friends and family than material or intellectual success.
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